The mothers role in her childrens development will have a major impact on their social, emotional, and general development. The childs responses, in turn, elicit emotional responses from their mother, which will shape mothers ongoing parenting. To summarize, these findings suggest that the pain of his child triggers in the mother an automatic, spontaneous reaction, that may reflect an ability for emotional communion, stronger and more rapid in his mother.
This study focused on physiological expressions of the mothers emotional empathy when they witnessed their baby crying in front of her child. When infants were younger, mothers completed questionnaires on parental distress, and researchers measured positive emotions when observing mothers and children playing. More importantly, the levels of positive emotions that kids showed with their moms were unrelated to the mothers parents feelings, suggesting moms feelings were more than just a reflection of their kids.
While parental stress can always be there, this study suggests building up a reservoir of positive emotions helps moms to be supportive to their kids without sacrificing their own personal wellbeing. Parents and carers who display positive emotions and who respond positively and lovingly to childrens needs are helping promote feelings of safety for the kids, which is exactly what toddlers need the most. When children are frustrated, display negative emotions, or behave badly, some parents get frustrated themselves, whereas others are able to talk their children through difficult situations.
This puts children in the active role of helping, they are able to come up with solutions for managing their mothers emotions, not realizing that they are also teaching themselves something. Because moms are people, too, they are equally capable of having human emotions, and they are equally capable of forgetting how to handle them, particularly in front of their kids. Young babies and toddlers have no idea how they are supposed to handle emotions, and lack the cognitive capacity to comprehend any explanations that moms might offer.
Mother-child bonding seems safe when the mother feels that the child knows about them, when mom crows with baby and the baby talks back or smiles, when the two are able to maintain their eyes on one another, and when the mother is able to feed and satiate baby. As a mom and primary caretaker during the early days, weeks, and months of a childs life, you are your babys first connection for any bonding and emotional attachment. A necessary requirement is for parents and children to have adequate emotional availability for each other in order for children to survive.
These moments are fleeting little man. No matter how hard I hold on they’ll slip through my fingers anyway. That’s life. Sometimes I wonder if I held on long enough. But I hope a boy will always need his Mum.
One day, your arms will dangle at your sides instead of reaching for me to pick you up. In fact, I think that has happened already. You won’t need your sore knee kissed, or your cuddly, or my cuddles before bed. I’ll remember the times I wished for my nights back and realise then, that I got them. And I’ll hope, a boy will always need his Mum. You’ll stop running into our bedroom in the morning, sometimes before sunrise, when our tired bones ache the most.
You’ll stop climbing into the sheets & demanding we get up. Instead, I’ll wake up and you’ll be in the kitchen, pouring milk into your cereal. I’ll look at you then and realise things are much easier now, and somehow harder too. And I’ll hope, a boy will always need his Mum. You’ll stop calling out for me in the middle of the night, I won’t know when the last time will be that Ill come running. You won’t tell me you love me 5 times a day. I hope you still tell me, but it won’t be with those little hands on my cheeks. It just won’t. And that’s OK. And I’ll hope, a boy will always need his Mum. You’ll let go of my hand one day, you’ll tell me you can walk the rest of the way to school on your own.
You’ll give me a hug that never lasts long enough. I don’t recognise your smell quite the same, but I still see a glimpse of those toddler cheeks and Ill wonder if I’ll always see my baby. And I’ll hope, a boy will always need his Mum. Then one day, you’ll be a man holding a baby of your own. I’ll tell you he’s an old soul just like you were. You’ll smile because I’m teaching you things about yourself you didn’t know and I’ll smile because you’ve been doing that to me for years. I’ll know then, that you’ll always need your mum, but just in different ways.
That’s how I wanted to raise you. So I’ll hold onto those precious cuddles. I’ll keep picking you up. I’ll run to you in the night as long as you call. Because one day, even when you need me less, you’ll know that I’ll be there.
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