The drive for perfectionism is not a drive for perfection; it is an obsession for perfection in itself. It is perfectionists belief that their work is exceptional, that they are continually striving for excellence in every aspect. Perfectionists feel an excess of shame when they mess up, and are too sensitive about how others feel.
Perfectionists believe they must never make mistakes, and they must always do things perfectly to be worthy people. Even if the perfectionist knows they can never accomplish something perfectly, yet feels the need to continue trying. Exellentists are not stuck on a draining perfection treadmill, and end up being more capable at meeting goals and solving difficult problems innovatively than their perfectionist peers.
In a perfectionists comfort zone, the perfectionist has a command over things, they are capable of performing tasks to 100% perfection. In contrast, others-oriented perfectionists channel their perfectionism into external sources, and are consumed by the expectation of other peoples perfection. Instead, perfectionists fear that if they are delegated, others might not be as good at doing so, and therefore risk that the final outcome is not as good.
This knowledge may cause an uncontrollable perfectionist to delay starting or finishing a task, knowing the final outcome may not be perfect. Underneath the surface, perfectionists are filled with anxiety and fears about making mistakes and being flawed. People with perfectionist traits might feel that if they were really perfect, they would not need to try as hard to reach their goals.
Perfectionists worry about the possibility of being rejected by others, as well as being judged, for failing to behave perfectly (Millon et al., 2000). Perfectionists are also more likely to establish rigid, overly high standards, evaluate their own actions with too much criticism, have a "all-or-nothing" mentality regarding their own performance (my performance is either perfect or an abject failure), and to feel their own self-worth is dependent upon performing perfectly.
The connections can be surprising, since we typically assume that perfectionists should feel great about themselves since they perform so well. Their inefficiency and unwillingness is the result of wanting to do the task perfectly.
In the big five personality traits, perfectionism is the extreme expression of conscientiousness, which may trigger increased neuroticism when perfectionist expectations are not met. Perfectionism is generally considered to be a positive trait, which increases the chances of success, but can result in thoughts or behaviors of self-defeatingness, which can make achieving goals more difficult. Perfectionism, in psychology, is a broad personality style that is marked by an individuals focus on striving for flawlessness and perfection, accompanied by a critical self-evaluation and anxiety about others appraisals.
Perfectionism is a quest to be perfect! It is about wanting the end results to be flawless, without an error or a mistake.
💥 Perfectionism is typically known as being organized, having attention to details, overdoing, and overachieving. 🤍 However, there are lesser-known symptoms of Perfectionism:
💬 The pressure to be perfect can cause indecisiveness. You might second-guess yourself and triple-check your work. You might delay decisions, procrastinate, or ask others for validation.
💬 Perfectionism in relationships shows up as people-pleasing and codependency. The fear of disappointing others and being unlovable and unworthy can cause you to put others needs before yours. You falsely think, "if I just do things perfectly and be who you want me to be, then I will finally get the love, affection, and belonging I need and deserve."
💬 Perfectionism can be the cause or the symptom of anxiety, panic, rumination, and brain fog. You may find it hard to concentrate when you feel like nothing you do is good enough.
💬 As the one and only @brenebrown has said, "When perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shotgun -- and fear is the annoying back seat driver." Shame loves keeping secrets and it tells you to hide all of your imperfections.
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